1. Count the number of times you say “Sorry” in a day. Especially in business related discussions.
2. Stop saying Sorry so much. Stop apologizing all the time.

“Sorry” and “Apologies” have a time and place. And that place is not “everywhere”, “all the time”.

This genius tip brought to you courtesy a few conversations this week that brought out this stark contrast that raised red flags for me.

Someone apologizing because she couldn’t sign up to work with me,
someone apologizing for ‘wanting to’ ask a people to stick to the terms of a free offer….

And it got me wondering… Why? Why can’t they be direct about it? Why do they have to apologize so much? Esp for asking clients to stick to the pre-agreed terms?

As women, we’re conditioned to be apologetic – about everything.

We’re conditioned to start sentences with “Sorry”. We’re conditioned to “explain” ourselves even when the situation doesn’t warrant it – because we’re so used to not being heard, not being valued, that we’ve imbibed the belief that we “have to” explain ourselves……..

Now don’t get me wrong – there’s a basic courtesy involved. You don’t have to be rude (and shouldn’t be).

But what I’m asking you to do is to be aware of where/when you’re taking on the BLAME / RESPONSIBILITY – when you it’s not yours!

And to be aware of where/when you’re going out of your way to explain/justify your behavior – when you don’t really have to!

There is enough research showing how women do this a lot (apologize / explain / justify) themselves too much in professional scenarios. And HOW doing so under mines them.
(Not sharing links here – since it’s not freebie/marketday – but just Google! Harvard Business review has some interesting articles!)

Stop undermining yourself.
Stop being so apologetic.

And if you wonder whether you’re being overly apologetic/explanatory – just pause and think – what would a MAN do in this situation??

You don’t have to behave like a man (and shouldn’t!) but just be aware of the contrast. That’ll help you see whether you’re over compensating!

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